A Day in the Wide World of the Wacky B2B Filmmaker
Lights! Camera! Coffee? Welcome to the caffeinated world of B2B (business-to-business) filmmaking, my reader, where the craft of storytelling collides with business jargon and spreadsheets are just as crucial as screenplays. I spend my days creating cinematic masterpieces for business customers as a B2B filmmaker. My responsibility is to make CRM, SEO, and ROI seem as thrilling as a summer blockbuster.
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So fasten your seatbelts for a wild ride through the glitter, glamour, and sometimes dull realities of B2B filmmaking. Although it's not quite the Cannes Film Festival, we do have our moments.
The crack of dawn occurs at 5:00 a.m.
Daybreak arrives. And by "arrives" I mean that my alarm clock starts to make me have a heart attack. The "Jaws" theme music plays as I wake up as a gentle reminder that even though sharks are terrifying, approaching project deadlines are more terrifying.
Coffee O'Clock at 6:00 A.M.
I finish my first pot of coffee. That's correct, a pot, not a cup. Inhuman amounts of coffee, inventiveness, and enthusiasm fuel the work of filmmakers. We chose a coffee this morning that had taste notes of "making it through back-to-back client meetings." The wonderful flavor of perseverance, ah.
7:00 AM - Spreadsheet or Screenplay?
I look through my project's budget. Yes, I have to pass through the maze of Excel before I can become lost in the realm of tale and cinematic beauty. The client's objectives, target audience, and marketing channels are each represented by a jigsaw piece in a cell. If you concentrate hard enough, it nearly resembles the plot of a suspenseful business thriller.
The Client Meeting begins at 9:00 AM.
It's time for the client meeting and I'm already on coffee pot number two. They wish to discuss their key differentiators, value-added services, and affordable solutions. I nod and seem to be paying attention, but I'm really just converting everything into a movie in my head: With their hidden weapon (product), the protagonist (our client) is on a journey to rescue the world (market).
Lights, Camera, Nap... Just Joking! 11:00 AM
Although a snooze now would be ideal, my next duty is storyboarding. Trying to illustrate business jargon with stick figures is like playing charades. I like changing terms like "synergy" and "optimization" to "alien invasion" and "car chase" as a fun exercise. Don't you think that makes for a much more thrilling storyboard?
Lunch or brunch at 1:00 p.m.
It's lunchtime, but since time zones are wonderful things, it's brunch with a customer via video call. While I secretly hope they don't see my syrup-covered pancakes, we talk about target demographics.
Bang Bang! shooting at 2:00 p.m.
Time to shoot. And by "shoot," I mean arrange for a drone camera to be flown over a sea of cubicles while a middle-aged CEO delivers lines as if they were being prepared for a role in "Titanic." I've never heard the phrase "leverage our core competencies" sound so dramatic.
At 4:00 PM, take action.
We're currently in the middle of filming. The workplace is transformed into a movie set, replete with actors who are reluctantly playing extras with props and camera gear. Fun fact: No film school can prepare you for the task of persuading an account manager to behave like James Bond for the "About Us" video.
6:00 PM - The Prime Time
As the sun sets, the office complex becomes a corporate fantasy realm. If only the inside fluorescent lighting was this attractive. Great shots and barely perceptible eye rolls from our performers are also present.
8:00 PM - The Event Is Over
The day's filming is over. The account manager quits acting like James Bond, the drones are put away, and the workplace reverts to what it usually is: a movie set that passes for a place of business.
The Director's Cut begins at 10:00 p.m.
I watch the video when I get home. Watching the CEO stumble over his lines or the intern give a flawless performance just to have the office plant steal the show has a certain pleasure. Yes, this is how B2B filmmaking works.
Sweet Dreams are Made of Reels, Midnight
My brain is buzzing with ideas for the shoot the next day as I slink into bed. Creativity, like my coffee maker, never sleeps in the realm of B2B filmmaking.
A B2B filmmaker may not always have red carpet premieres and famous guests, but it is my particular area of storytelling. And I find the comedy and compassion that make this profession, and every new "corporate blockbuster" we create, worth it despite the business jargon, numerous spreadsheets, and hesitant performers.
